Right then. For those of you who haven’t heard, I had testicular cancer. It was fine, the hospital were very good and the tumour is all gone. Please don’t be upset if I haven’t told you personally, it’s kind of awkward. Now I’m back for a short course of chemotherapy to clear my system out and then it’ll all be over.

It turns out this mostly involves two things: sitting around waiting, and pissing. A lot. There’s 500 ml of saline going into my arm every hour, along with as much tea and water as I can manage so that my kidneys keep active. The food so far is fine, but don’t drink the coffee. Most importantly there is wifi.

Here are my first drugs on their way in: